Betty Danger’s Country Club – Minneapolis, MN

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Played multiple times throughout 2015
Reviewed by the Pink Putter

Betty Danger’s Country Club is a new concept restaurant/entertainment complex owned by the same folks behind Minneapolis favorites Psycho Suzi’s Motor Lounge and Donnie Dirk’s Zombie Den. It’s right in our neighborhood of Northeast Minneapolis and is built on the same plot of land that the original Psycho Suzi’s was located before it moved to it’s new riverfront property. It’s got a dining room, bar area, multiple patios, an 8.5 hole mini golf course and “The Danger”, a pink and green ferris wheel, or as the establishment calls it, a Mechanical Tree (vertically revolving patio). We’ve been following Betty Danger’s since the first newspaper articles announced the plans and continued to stop by through the entirety of its construction. Since it’s opening in early spring this year, we’ve become something of what you might call regulars. In April, when I was visiting home from South Carolina, Mr. Tee and I even played in their Master’s Tournament and I somehow managed to place second overall!

Rating

Par – Betty Danger’s course is 8.5 holes of average play and outstanding kitsch. What is a half hole, you ask? Well, it’s a joke. It’s an area of a fairway, complete with putting turf and brick walls but has no actual obstacles or hole. Everyone gets an automatic score of “1”. The other 8 holes are all flat (no hills, ramps or jumps) with varying curves, patches of rough turf and an eclectic variety of oversized animals and a giant fiberglass apple. On the last hole, you even get to putt into a clear tunnel that traverses through the indoor patio area, thus ending your game right next to The Danger. While we certainly appreciate the decor, the cost to play just eight holes is very steep. To play one round, you must purchase a drink, so the price varies depending on your beverage tastes, but will total anywhere from around $10 to $16 per person.  There are also all sorts of membership packages available that change the cost, but it’s all very complex. You can read about them here. So the bottom line is that if you are in town, definitely come for the Yale (a pink prickly-pear alcoholic slushy) and the plaid painted cow, but be warned that this course might be dangerous on your wallet.

Me getting out from behind the plaid cow.
Me hitting out from behind the plaid cow.
Revolving sign with ad for the Masters Tourney that I placed 2nd in.
Revolving sign with ad for the Masters Tourney that I placed 2nd in.
Posing with the giant gorilla on hole 1 in April.
Me putting with Mr. Tee's nieces monkeying around, back in June.
Putting next to Mr. Tee’s nieces monkeying around, in June.
Some ballsy dogs on hole 2.
Not so intimidating from the front.
Not so intimidating from the front.
We've found hole 4 to be nearly impossible for a hole-in-one.
We’ve found hole 4 to be nearly impossible for a hole-in-one.
But you can certainly enjoy drinks and eats in the big apple!
But you can certainly enjoy drinks and eats in the big apple while you watch everyone else struggle!
Hole 5 offers a sharp curve and dining with a donkey.
Hole 5 offers a sharp u-turn shaped playing green and an opportunity to dine with a donkey.
This guy welcomes you on hole 6. The right shot is straight through the camel toe.
This guy welcomes you on hole 6. The right shot is straight through the camel toe.
At hole 7, you have to battle with the wolves.
At hole 7, you have to battle with the wolves.
Mr. Tee at the start of the final hole.
Mr. Tee at the start of the final hole, located just inside the indoor patio area.
The ball goes under the floor to the other side.
The ball goes under the floor to the other side.
And comes out next to the bear and next to The Danger.
And comes out next to the bear and next to The Danger (aka the ferris wheel).
Flyer from the Tourney.
Flyer from the Tourney.
And here I am posing with the other tournament finalists back in April.
And here I am posing with the other tournament finalists and winner back in April.
Last, but not least, the prickly pear slush aka the Yale.
Last but not least, that delicious prickly pear slush, aka the Yale. Note the adorable cocktail stirrer it comes with.

From the Betty Danger’s website:

Welcome to Betty Danger’s Monetary Correction Golf Course located in the Village of Mexampton.  Our 8 1/2 hole course is better than Shinnecock, Sebonack, or The National, and is the ultimate leisurely pursuit for Mexamptonites.  Designed by a world class championship golf course designer who specializes in economic apocalypses and misbehaving imaginary animals, our award winning par 49 course is built for the 99%; everyone’s a winner.    Betty says it’s a lot of fun, though she has never played a round of golf on it because she does not go outside.  Betty’s imaginary pets live on the golf course, so please be mindful of them as you enjoy your round of golf.  There is a six stroke limit per hole and you must be 54″ to participate. The Golf Course opens at 11am Monday-Friday & 10am on Saturday & Sunday.

Pros
Fun kitsch
Jovial atmosphere
Brand new, well maintained course
Lots of good photo ops
Solid food and drink options

Cons
Average, very flat play
Only 8 holes
Really expensive for a short round of mini golf, especially if you didn’t want a drink

Nerdy Notes

  • 8.5 holes (really just 8 holes)
  • Every hole is a par 6, except the half hole which is a par 1. Course par=49
  • You must be at least 54″ to play (no small children allowed)
  • Price varies depending on membership status and drink orders but ranges anywhere from $10-$16 per person
  • Flags in holes
  • Rubber covered putters. Normal style white golf balls.

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